Whose bed is it anyway?
Many high-needs babies love closeness. But not just closeness with any old stuffed toy or comforter; closeness with mommy and daddy (most probably mommy for those first few months if you're nursing). Hours of frantically trying to settle your baby into a bassinet or crib can be stressful and exhausting for both you and the baby.
The benefits of co-sleeping are ignored or undersold by many modern parenting gurus, and, in all honestly, sometimes oversold too. Does anybody really, honestly, like being elbowed in the face or kicked in the groin at 3am by a wriggling toddler? Or not spending a night in the same bed as their partner for three years?
On the plus side it is clearly what many babies want - and, some would argue, need. The benefits are said to include a more regulated temperature and heartbeat and ensuring the baby feels 'attached' to its parents (see Home for an explanation on this). Moreover, it can sometimes be the best way to ensure all of the family gets more sleep, not to mention fantastic for helping establish and maintain breastfeeding. If you can manage it, feeding lying down while you snooze can be a wonderful way to ensure you get as much sleep as possible.
Many parents fear that co-sleeping could be dangerous. And done incorrectly, yes it can. Click here to make sure you know how to co-sleep safely. For us, co-sleeping was the best solution for us and our frequent feeder during those first few months. We bought a bed rail to begin with to give us extra reassurance and then later we transitioned her into a bedside bassinet (also known as a co-sleeper bassinet), eventually moving to a futon where I fed her to sleep then snuck off when she was settled.
The benefits of co-sleeping are ignored or undersold by many modern parenting gurus, and, in all honestly, sometimes oversold too. Does anybody really, honestly, like being elbowed in the face or kicked in the groin at 3am by a wriggling toddler? Or not spending a night in the same bed as their partner for three years?
On the plus side it is clearly what many babies want - and, some would argue, need. The benefits are said to include a more regulated temperature and heartbeat and ensuring the baby feels 'attached' to its parents (see Home for an explanation on this). Moreover, it can sometimes be the best way to ensure all of the family gets more sleep, not to mention fantastic for helping establish and maintain breastfeeding. If you can manage it, feeding lying down while you snooze can be a wonderful way to ensure you get as much sleep as possible.
Many parents fear that co-sleeping could be dangerous. And done incorrectly, yes it can. Click here to make sure you know how to co-sleep safely. For us, co-sleeping was the best solution for us and our frequent feeder during those first few months. We bought a bed rail to begin with to give us extra reassurance and then later we transitioned her into a bedside bassinet (also known as a co-sleeper bassinet), eventually moving to a futon where I fed her to sleep then snuck off when she was settled.
The bedside bassinet is a fantastic invention that means you can co-sleep but keep your distance too! Night-time feeding or settling is so much easier when you can just lean into the bassinet or just slide the baby back when you're done. Some parents prefer to use a co-sleeper from day one, and there are smaller cribs available just for this purpose. Co-sleepers can also be indispensable for moms who have had c-sections or have sore stitches, making it difficult for them to keep getting up and down.
However, for some parents and babies, co-sleeping just doesn't work. Either the parents or baby need their own space to get a good night's sleep. And others find that co-sleeping stops working for some reason at some point during their baby's first year or so. But what about high-needs babies who just won't settle in a traditional bassinet either? That's where other solutions might be necessary. |
Other sleeping arrangements
If co-sleeping just doesn't work for you and your family, or it is no longer working so well, then it might be time to think outside of the box. We transitioned to the futon in our spare room when we decided we were waking her too much by being in the same bed. One favourite of some parents of high-needs babies we know was a Cocoon Swing. The soporific rocking sent their little ones to sleep within ten minutes after weeks of wrangling with a moses basket.
Others have found a soothing swinging crib to have done the trick. Some parents swear by warming the base of the sleeping vessel with a hot water bottle before the baby is placed there, and strategically placing a muslin smelling of the baby's mum. Others find music and light projectors, mobiles or musical cuddly toys such as this seahorse to be comforting for their babies. We bought blackout blinds to ensure our baby's room was as dark as possible. We also found a clock that simulates the morning sun coming up very useful in her otherwise darkened room.
Yet others find they need to get their baby to sleep in a sling or carrier (see the Out and About section for more details). If you can do this and then transfer your baby to bed, it can be a lovely way for partners to play a part during the evening. The same goes for carseats, bouncy chairs, swings and strollers - all are worth considering, even in the evening, though of course they are not usually recommended for overnight sleeping (with the exception of some bassinet attachments that are suitable for overnight sleeping).
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Some parents swear by using pacifiers for their babies, or encouraging thumb sucking. Note that this is not a good idea during the first few weeks of a baby's life if you are breastfeeding as it can interfere with latch and hamper milk production. You'll also need to be prepared for the fact that you may need to wean them from it when they are older.